Sick sick sick sick sick sick sick... Saw her today in church and I could feel the blood rushing to my face... I don't want to feel this way. Its been 8 bloody months and i still feel this way. No doubt it doesn't make me as depressed as it used to, but the feelings for her just rose up in me again. She looks beautiful. Ok, now that I've gotten that out of the way...

Today's sermon was good. 'Christianity and War'. Uncle Lionel talked about whether Christians should be in the army and take arms to defend Singapore. He spoke about the pacifist. The people who say that all wars are bad and gave some scripture from the bible which said that we have to obey what the government asks us to do because the government is appointed by God. Then he went on to speak about the activist who blindly follows what the government ask without first consulting the word of God. He also spoke about making a choice and then sticking to it. For example, If you believe that the government is wrong in going to war against a certain country and refuse to pick up arms, you have to be prepared to go to jail for it. But the choice is ours to make.

Spent the day with the boys in church. Played guitar for a while in the XS corner... 2 girls (I can't remember their names) were playing 'match-the-notes' on the organ... They seemed to be having a whale of a time. The guys were struggling to get the PS2 to work on a super old TV... Finally gave up and went to the basement to use the TV there... Played 'Winning Eleven 6'

Went for dinner with Gan. Ate at the Wan Tan Mee stall behind church... Talked about lots of stuff. Including how I felt that day, how the cell is moving and how he felt about the cell... He said something about expecting Eileen to soar and me to crumble after the break up. He was right in a way... I did break and crumble. But God put me back together again. (Humpty Dumpty?)

I need to discipline myself to start praying in a more organised way... For the cell, for the youth camp, for individuals and for myself. Must live up to the role of head of prayer & worship. :) I think I shall go do it now. Goodnight world.

::: Quote of the Day :::
Being alone... I don't know... I mean I'd like to believe I'm not but I just never seen any proof so I just don't debate it anymore. Its like I could spend my whole life debating it over and over again, weighing the pros and cons and in the end I still won't have any proof so I just don't debate it anymore. Its absurd.